5 Back To School Planning Tips For Co-Parents
There is no easy way to usher your family through the aftermaths of divorce and this is especially true with co-parenting. As divorced parents of your children, you will still need to fulfill your parental obligations regardless of your marital status.
This will mean setting aside any negative feelings you have about your ex and establishing a workable relationship when dealing with your children. Since the school year is 10 months of the year, it is important to have a co-parenting plan for the school year.
How To Get Your Kids Ready For School While Co-Parenting | 5 Helpful Tips
1. Maintain consistent arrangements for child custody.
Divorce proceedings that involve minor children will have a custody-sharing plan agreed upon by you and your ex. This will include during and after-school routines, where they will stay on weekdays and also on weekends.
It is best to stick to this plan to ease your child's transition with the divorce.
Changing the setup on a weekly basis will not do your children any good. They will have a hard time keeping up with the different buses for different routes, what to do on what days, and which items to bring.
It’s best to consistently follow the parenting plan you and your ex agreed upon. This way, it will be easier for you and your children to keep track of everything.
2. Use technology for better and clearer communication.
While communicating with your ex might have been difficult back when you were still married, it can become even more complex when both of you are co-parenting. To make co-parenting work for you and your children, you will need to come up with a strategy to monitor your children’s school activities, field trips, schoolwork, doctor’s appointments, etc.
An online shared calendar for you and your ex that contains all of the children’s activities will keep both of you informed. You may access it anytime using your phone or your computer and update it regularly to make sure you won’t miss anything on your children’s schedules.
3. Give your children’s teachers and counselors a head’s up regarding the situation.
This is important to avoid unnecessary remarks and protect your children from the effects of society’s stigma about divorce, real or imagined. Your children’s counselor can also keep an eye on what is happening in school and take note of any unusual behavior from your kids. This can be bullying, poor performance in school, or substance abuse.
In addition, your children might open up to their teachers or counselors about how they feel regarding the situation as they are with them on a daily basis.
4. Keep track of the “extra” expenses.
Since you and your ex will be living separately, you will need to keep track of all the expenditures outside of your agreed child support arrangement. These “extra” expenses may include book fairs, field trips, and participation in sports.
Be sure that you and your ex agree ahead of time that the expenses in question will be split. No one likes to be handed a bill they never agreed to pay. Talk things over beforehand and get the agreement before you move forward with the expense.
Handling money matters with a co-parent might be difficult, but if you maintain open communication with your ex, it will help to minimize further conflicts between the two of you.
5. Agree on the same parenting rules.
While this may be a bit difficult to achieve, having the same set of rules that your children will follow in both homes will lessen future conflicts between you and them. If they aren’t allowed to watch TV during homework time, then both you and your ex must apply this rule.
Both of you need to agree on certain parenting rules that your children will follow regardless of who they’re staying with.
It’s also very important for kids to have a routine to follow as it will provide consistency no matter which parent they are staying with. Be consistent in upholding this routine even if you feel like giving in from time to time.
Benefits of Co-Parenting
Co-parenting provides many benefits to your children. Most importantly, even though your marriage did not work, your love and support for your children will never change.
Scientific studies showed that a cooperative relationship between divorced parents results in children growing up the same way as those whose parents never divorced.
Some of the benefits derived from minimizing the effects of divorce with back-to-school planning are as follows:
Children feel secure. When children feel that both parents love them despite being divorced, they have better self-esteem. They can also adjust to new situations and arrangements quickly and more easily.
Children are less confused on who to obey and what to do. If you and your ex agree on a set of parenting rules, your children will be less likely to disobey the rules. They know what you expect from them and they also know what to expect when disobey the rules.
Children are more responsible when solving problems. Seeing you and your ex cooperatively working things out will also encourage them to adopt the same approach. When they experience their parents cooperating, you can expect them to also learn to resolve problems peacefully and effectively.
Children can follow you as a healthy example. When you are able to co-parent with your ex effectively and respectfully, there is a higher chance your children will also acquire the same values. They will see the importance of building and maintaining strong relationships and setting aside all differences in order to achieve a common goal.
Children will be exposed to social maturity early on. Co-parenting allows children to have a deeper relationship with their parents, and for parents to actively participate in the lives of their children.
Successful co-parenting involves setting aside any unresolved conflicts and unsettled differences between you and your ex so you can focus on your children’s needs first and foremost.
Your children are still your top priority, and their happiness, future well-being, and stability matter more, than what you and your ex-spouse have to go through to give them the best you can. The setup might be difficult at first, but you can slowly help your children transition through divorce with good back-to-school planning.
Take Control of Your Future
Just as you would want to hire a wedding coordinator to help you prepare for your wedding day, it makes sense to hire a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst to assist or provide counseling or coaching for the preparation of your financial disclosures.
Both Kimberly and Leslie provide step-by-step guidance on matters related to divorce. With a wide range of experience and expertise related to divorce issues, our team will simplify the process and provide much-needed clarity in areas such as long-term tax consequences, asset, and debt analysis, dividing pension plans, continued health care coverage, stock option elections, protecting support with life insurance, and much more.
This information is not intended to be a substitute for seeking legal advice from an attorney. For legal or tax advice please seek the services of a qualified attorney and/or qualified tax professional.